Category Archives: Self Actualization

Fighting Boredom

Right now, I feel a feeling that I think of as boredom. I don’t even know if I’m using the right word for the feeling because I can’t really show the feeling to someone and verify that I have the right name. 

So I have this feeling, which I think is called boredom, which I believe must be fought. And the reason I believe it must be fought is because that’s apparently what you do with boredom, fight it until you no longer have it. 

Now fighting boredom involves doing things that don’t bore you so you no longer feel bored. So in a way fighting is just a way of distracting yourself with amusing things. The dilemma I face with boredom however is that no matter how many times I valiantly fight it and win, it eventually comes back. 

This is why I sometimes wonder if someone ever took the time to find a more effective and permanent solution. Maybe, instead of fighting, we could just be friends? But if fighting is distracting yourself, what is making friends with boredom?

If you are friends with it, does boredom suddenly become fun? But why would boredom change because of friendship? Real friendship is about accepting friends as they are instead of expecting them to change. 

So now I’m stuck with a friend who is pure boredom, never leaves my side, and whom I can’t even fight with or do anything to distract myself from. Now what do I do?

Maybe this is why people prefer fighting and distracting themselves to making new friends. 

A world filled with idiots

I’ve expressed this before, the thought that I am in a world filled by monkeys with delusions of intellect, constantly pretending that they are spouting profound wisdom when all they are really doing is making barking noises in a previous article – Why do monkeys pretend to talk?

If you haven’t read it yet, I would recommend that you do so now, otherwise this article might seem somewhat confusing.

So continuing where we left off in that article, we live in a world of monkeys that bark and pretend that these barking noises are actually meaningful words. Now barking monkeys by themselves are mostly harmless, if somewhat noisy. 

The situation however is compounded by the fact that monkeys also like to pretend that they are acting intelligently, when in fact all they were designed to do was eat, procreate, and entertain themselves by swinging from trees and occasionally flinging feces at each other.

Thanks to their fascination with making up and using new words, these monkeys find words like achievement, purpose, duty and goals to justify a vast number of mind numbing and completely idiotic things that they seem to enjoy doing. Very often they just pretend to enjoy themselves so others will believe it, even while they themselves are completely bored with what they are doing. I know it seems like a very confused world when described this way. 

I would understand a monkey that just acted like a monkey. But a monkey that then spends twenty minutes afterwards justifying what it just did as a higher purpose or calling, or saying it was doing the right thing or a good thing, is an idiot. That’s the only word for it. 

I love the word idiot, because it describes and explains the behaviour of every single human monkey I have come across in my lifetime.  

Now don’t get me wrong. In no way am I claiming that the world is full of idiots and that I am somehow the only sane one. Not at all. What I am saying is that I appear to be the only person who is aware that he is an idiot monkey playing pretend in a world full of idiots playing pretend. Everyone else actually seems to believe the lies they have been telling themselves and seem to have forgotten that they are just monkeys, pretending to be more. 

Purpose, religion, goal, career, duty – All these meaningless words that people use to justify their silly actions, all used to help them in pretending that their pointless existence actually has a higher meaning and purpose; When all they were ever meant to do, was be a monkey, eat, amuse themselves, maybe have children, and then die. Nothing more. 

But for a lot of monkeys, this wasn’t enough. They found a better and higher meaning to their existence. 

Somehow one special sub-category of a breed of monkeys with opposable thumbs decided that they were specially selected, not to die, but instead go to a newer and better place called heaven. And since life on heaven is a better life than their current one, half the idiot monkeys just waste away their current life in waiting to go to heaven. As for the other half, I don’t even want to try to guess what they are doing, or how their mind justifies their idiotic actions. 

Do you still wonder why I find the word idiot appropriate to describe everyone in this world? Nothing anyone does ever makes sense, but  somehow they keep finding convoluted justifications to try and convince themselves that everything makes sense. Some even decide to use a special category  of meaningless words such as – “Don’t worry. It will all make sense in the end. If it doesn’t yet make sense, then it isn’t the end”. This category of soothing but totally meaningless words that seem to make a lot of sense, but are actually just complete nonsense are usually called profound sayings.

This is the world we are in. As I think about this, I am left wondering what I am even doing here, in this world filled with idiots. At this point, there is no lie that I can make up that sounds convincing enough. I am doing nothing of significance here. 

The truth is, I am just passing time, eating food, swinging from trees, throwing poop, and doing whatever I can to entertain myself, until I become too old to do so. And I’ve decided to call doing this “becoming path oriented instead of goal oriented so I can fulfill my highest purpose” because it sounds more profound when I say it this way.

Why do monkeys pretend to talk?

This is a thought that I’ve had for a while now. Most creatures have mouths and tongues so they can taste and eat food. Some creatures learn to use these mouths to make noises either to attract attention or warn others. 

As mammals evolved, the complexity of these vocalisations increased with them being able to create a large range of grunts, growls and other unique sounds. 

However of all these creatures, man was the only animal which decided that the random and meaningless sounds it made actually meant something significant. No dog was calling its barking poetry.  No cow was calling its mooing wisdom.

However man decreed that certain growls and grunts in certain specific patterns mean something special and profound. In fact the barking sounds represented by “profound” and “beautiful” are things that all human apes aspired towards. However, no one seemed to realise, that unlike growls like apple and orange, which they could atleast point to and identify in the real world, profound is a noise that no one could really point to or identify, making it even more meaningless of a sound. 

Take the time to look around at this world where everyone is just barking sounds at each other and pretending that they are conversing, and ask yourself, what do you really see now? Not just at each other, people make meaningless sounds at animals that can’t possibly make the same sounds back, and at plants that can’t respond in any way. And then, to top it off, they decide to tell themselves that what they are doing is a beautiful way of expressing love, another meaningless sound that they can’t point at or identify. 

As I stare at this nonsensical world around me, I am left with but one question – “What am I even doing on this silly planet where everyone is just barking at each other?”.  And as I ponder the question, another one comes to me – “Why am I acting as if my last question has any meaning at all, when all these words are just meaningless sounds made by monkeys who think they are talking?”

The Pathless Path

For most of my life, I insisted on having goals for everything I wanted to achieve. Fitness? – “This is how I want to look and these are the things I am going to do to get there”. Wealth? – “These are the things I want to have and these are the things I will do to try and get them”. 

Everything had a goal, and each goal had milestones and the steps needed to accomplish them. 

After years and years or banging my head against walls trying to achieve my goals, I realised something very important about goals – that both striving for and achieving them are equally pointless and unfulfilling. 

The only thing I ever seemed to get out of accomplishing a goal was a momentary sense of achievement, and then it was back to either getting bored with nothing to do or planning the next goal to strive for. 

I was racing a never ending race with myself, while somehow convincing myself that I was actually competing with other people. But the truth was, no one else even cared! Everyone else was too busy running their own races to actually pay attention to me. 

Once I had this realisation, no way I looked at the situation could ever make the whole idea seem anything other than pointless. 

Sometime soon after this realisation, I came upon the concept of being path oriented instead of goal oriented. This idea sounded very profound to me, and by sounded profound I mean I had no idea what it meant. So, obviously, I decided to pretend it was something very special that I needed to understand and achieve. 

For the longest time afterwards, I would still have goals, draw the straightest line possible from where I was to directly achieving the goal, call this straight line my path, and then tell myself I was now path oriented. Obviously, nothing had changed in my life and this silly definition of path oriented serves no purpose other than to temporarily distract me. 

Very recently though, I’ve come upon a new way of looking at life that doesn’t even involve goals. Looking back, I realise now that this might possibly be what people mean by being path oriented.  

So nowadays if people ask me what my goals are, I can respond with “I don’t have goals anymore. I am more path oriented than goal oriented”. If they then asks me what this path of mine is, I just stare at them as if this is the silliest question in the world until they look away sheepishly. 

Luckily for me, no one ever asks me to explain what path oriented means, which is a good thing because I still have no idea. 

I just don’t set goals anymore. I still have dreams and wishes, which I do nothing to achieve. I then wander about doing whatever I feel like doing, just like a little child. That’s it. Doesn’t sound like much, does it? Trust me, it isn’t. 

Then why am I even doing it? I don’t know, for some reason my life feels like a lot more fun nowadays. I can’t even imagine going back to setting goals anymore. 

Would I recommend this for anyone else? Most definitely not. 

I assume you are a motivated, goal oriented person who always works towards and accomplishes their dreams. 

If however you have the misfortune of getting mixed up in this path oriented business, do let me know. It would be nice to know that there are now two of us weirdos around in this world. 

Prisoners of Profundity

The problem with writing even one article that sounds a little profound is that I suddenly get stuck. Every subsequent thought that I have now has a new barrier to surpass. But what that barrier is, I can’t ever really describe because I have no idea what it really is, namely the idea that my next thought needs to be even more profound. 

The meaning of the word profound as I discovered during a period of heightened insight, was using meaningless words so that sentences could be interpreted any way the listener wanted and attribute it to having many deep meanings, rather than the actual reason, which is that the sentence was so vague that it didn’t have a single precise meaning in itself. That’s how one sounds profound, by saying things that don’t really mean anything, and saying them very slowly. 

So why is being profound a goal? It seems like a silly goal. I might as well write something long and boring and then change every second word by replacing it with an empty or abstract word so my writing suddenly becomes profound. But is my goal to be profound or to convey meaning? 

And if it is meaning I want to convey, then why not let the title of the article be the essence of the meaning that I want to convey, and then use this meaning as the guiding principle to shape my thoughts as I place them into words. 

I can then let the final decision of whether my purpose has been achieved be based on how well my words convey the meaning I want to share and how well the readers feel the feelings I want to impart to them. 

My goal is to move the readers’ hearts, but not necessarily push them towards a specific direction. Let their own hearts take them where they need to go. But let them atleast feel something new that they never felt before, and know that my words somehow helped them have that experience. 

This is all I believe writing needs to be about. 

As soon as we reduce the goal of writing to just that – expressing what we feel, as best as we know how – suddenly all blocks disappear. Writing becomes as easy as typing while thinking, and thinking is just converting your feelings into words. So if you can feel, you can write. 

And sometimes while converting your feelings into words, without even trying, your words might actually end up sounding a little profound. Which is great if it happens on its own. Just don’t waste your time chasing it. 

Prisoners of Time

Why is it that time seems to slow down so much when waiting for something? Each second seems to stretch for eternity. What is it that causes it to fly when we would prefer to savour each second and stand still when we would prefer to rush to get to the other side?

It almost feels like time knows our deepest desires and does what it does to prevent us from ever having what we want, i.e. more of what we are already enjoying and less of what we consider suffering. 

If this is what time is, a mechanism for us to suffer, by either stretching or contracting as needed, how do we stop this self inflicted suffering? 

How do we master time so it no longer controls us in this way? Does meditation make us free of time? Will time then stop bothering us and just go away?

Is time even a real concept or just a made up four lettered word used to measure how much we are suffering in a situation? Is the passing of time just an illusion?

What if, rather than try to control time, we eliminated time as a concept completely so that the word no longer held any meaning for us? Nothing to slow down or speed up. Nothing to experience. Why would we need time to experience anything anyway?

What would remain? There would be no idea of wanting things now or later. All of those ideas would be illusory as well. What would be left is a way of living where everything was accepted as is without complaint or worry about past and future. 

If this happened, would we become more peaceful and zen? More willingly accepting of the present moment with no desire to rush to be somewhere else? 

What would life be like in this state? Would this be a better way to live than the way we live right now? And if so, how can we surrender to this better way of living?

How would we act in a world where there was no concept of time? Where everything just happened the way it did and all of us were just witnesses to the unfolding of life? Nothing would seem to happen faster or slower. There would be no more past or present or future, only the moment itself, currently unfolding in front of  the witnesses experiencing the moment. 

The powerful and debilitating feeling of impatience and restlessness that we mistake to be boredom could no longer exist. Boredom is only a word with no meaning of its own. With no more time or waiting, there would be no boredom or road-rage or impatience or suffering associated with time. 

Is that what true freedom is? Freedom from the illusion of time? 

Would you be willing to let go of this one word, time, if it meant you could live in a world without suffering? And if you would, could you share how you did so others could follow in your footsteps? So everyone could live in a world free of time? Is this a world you want to live in? And more importantly, is this a world you choose to live in?

What we can learn from children about achieving our goals

Ever think about what goes through a baby’s mind when it is learning to crawl?

Do you think the baby goes “I want to place my weight on my knees, then I want to place my hands slightly ahead of where I am and shift my center of gravity to my left. I also need to remember to make sure my spine is pointed slightly right of the target so that when I move forward, I don’t go too much to the left. That way I can average it out with the shift during my right movement so I am always roughly facing my target.”

Doesn’t really sound like something a baby would think does it?

How about “If I can only start crawling I will get stronger and healthier. People will start praising me and respect me for my crawling skills?” Does that sound like something a baby would think?

If babies tried to learn the way human adults do, they would grow up never learning to walk instinctively, and for the rest of their lives need to keep a post-it on their arm with acronyms and rules reminding them how to crawl or walk. The rules would probably be painful and cryptic (PCLSF – point, center, lean, step, fall) and only a few “talented genius adults” would be able to walk without struggling. They would never be able to walk using instinct, and everyone would go around justifying this by saying two legged walking requires so much of muscular coordination, it is an extremely rare talent that one needs to be born with. There would be e-books and courses and self study guides on the internet about faster and better ways of learning to walk, and how to be almost “natural” at walking. Luckily for us, almost every child learns to crawl and walk without needing any of this nonsense.

But how do you think they really do it in a seemingly effortless manner?

As far as I can tell, they just look at a place and say to themselves “There. I want to go there” and then they try to do it. And when they fail, there isn’t a “I’ll never be able to do this. I am such a disappointment. I have failed at every attempt. I should just give up.”. Nope. Just two seconds of confusion later, they try again. And again.

Each time they make subtle variations to what they are doing compared to what they tried before. I don’t think they even consciously realize what they tried before. They don’t even realize what they just changed. All they know is “Again. I want to go there.”, and then with that feeling or thought inside them, they try.

Little by little something inside them figures out how their center of gravity needs to shift, which muscles need to be fired in tandem and how visual and touch information needs to be used to adjust which muscles groups to fire. At the same time, another magical part of them tracks which muscles need growing because they aren’t strong enough, and marks them so that when they sleep that night, the muscles grow and get bigger and stronger.

Do you honestly think babies plan any of this?

Oddly enough, despite all that is required, they achieve their goal.

Is it effortless? When we look at it, we admire their persistence despite all the effort required. When they look at it, they don’t look at it as effort or persistence. All they see is “Goal. Try. Goal. Try. Tired. Goal, Try. Yay!! Again.”. That’s all it was to them. No effort. Just try something they wanted to do until they got it.

All the adult motivation and learning coaches talk about the HOW – the steps and the plan, and the WHY – the motivation and the desire. How you can never achieve your goals without clearly answering the HOW and the WHY questions.

Ask a child who is thinking “I want”, “But why?” and the reply would just be “I want?” . What else is there? Why would it need another reason? Why would it need to justify why it wants something? Isn’t the fact that it wants something enough? Ask it “How?” and the reply again would be something like “I want. I try.”. Ask it “But the steps?” “I don’t know. I want. I try.”. And just with that brilliant set of plans and blueprint a child sets out and achieves its goals.

Imagine that. No plan. No motivation. Goal achieved. All the while, adults who love to spend hours, days, weeks and months in plotting and planning and self-motivating and visualizing never get anywhere with their goals. I wonder why.

Now a common thought might be “But we can’t use this children’s approach. Our goals are much more complex. Children use it for easy stuff, like crawling, walking, controlling their body, learning multiple languages or any of the rare skills that we like to say they are gifted at. Oh wait.”

Realize that this simpler method of learning apparently allows us to master anything, effortlessly. No need for how. No need for why. No need for detailed plans. Act or try first, and modify based on feedback and information later. As adults capable of reading and learning as well as searching for coaches or videos of people doing it so we can model their behavior, we can accelerate the process even further once we get started.

This is the middle ground between learning as a child and learning as an adult. A way of achieving goals that combines the best of a child’s simple way, and an adult’s research based way. A way that cuts through all the procrastination, confusion, fear, and excuses and lets us achieve our goals with the focus and intensity and speed that we were designed to achieve them.

So how do you get to the point where you learn everything in your life effortlessly and instinctively like this again?

I can’t give you any magic steps or an algorithm to follow, because that would defeat the purpose. But here is a hint – If you just make instinctive learning your goal, something you want, something you keep trying to achieve without even necessarily knowing how, guess what will happen?

The shortest path to silencing your thoughts and having complete peace of mind

Have you ever tried to meditate or use other techniques that are supposed to give you peace or make you happy and then given up on them as a lost cause? Because they either didn’t seem to work for you, or they seemed like a struggle with very slow or no tangible results?

Well, maybe the reason they weren’t working was because you were missing something. Maybe the reason you kept giving up was because somewhere deep inside you realized that it was not the best path to peace and you were just waiting until you found a better way.

Over the centuries, learning to control the mind has been a subject of constant discussion and debate both within and outside spiritual circles. People over the years discovered and rejected many methods of meditation. Wise men sometimes recommending techniques that often contradicted what others wise men recommended, sometimes even contradicting themselves.

In their own search for peace more and more people in the general public started experimenting with these spiritual techniques and adapting them so that they could be applied in their day to day life – simplifying them, extracting only the parts they needed, trying to make a list of simple ideas they could use. Their goal was simpler than the spiritual masters – to reduce their unhappiness, and feel peace, content and joy in their daily lives, as far as possible.

The many methods that have come over the years:

  1. AFFIRMATIONS – The first trick everyone tried was to repeat and memorize happy thoughts. “I am happy. I am a good person. Only good things happen to me.”. The problem with this technique was that a very big part of their mind didn’t believe these thoughts. The contradictory thoughts “This is a lie. what nonsense! ” were just waiting to come back, the first chance they got. Trying to drown out thoughts by yelling louder can’t work forever. When you finally stop your affirmations, the doubts will come right back. And that’s what happened. A few lucky people managed to do better than others because they accidentally discovered better techniques but incorrectly attributed their success to affirmations.  However affirmations are not the answer, at least not a complete one.
  2. CLEANING THE BAD THOUGHTS – The next trick was to try to actually clean out the bad thoughts from the mind rather than trying to drown them out. This included methods like  becoming aware of thoughts when they happen and snapping a rubber band on your wrist to punish yourself every time a negative thought came up. Negative thoughts were bad and they needed to be punished. Only positive thoughts were good. Again, while the awareness of thoughts did help, the judgment of good and bad tended to add guilt and shame in addition to the never ending stream of thoughts themselves. Now, not only did people have negative thoughts that made them feel bad, they also felt bad about having bad thoughts, making them feel worse.
  3. NON JUDGMENTAL AWARENESS – The next solution was to just be aware of all thoughts that came in the mind and not resist them or try to judge them as good or bad. If a thought was negative and caused pain, it was OK to just notice that this was happening. If a thought was positive and caused happiness, it was OK to just notice that as well. There was no need to fight. Just notice and become aware. With calm awareness came the possibility of finding the root beliefs and emotions that caused the negative thoughts or the pain and letting them go so that some of these repetitive thoughts would go away. A lot of psychoanalysis, journal writing, introspection, and awareness meditation is based on this principle. This is a beautiful technique for helping people in pain, however it can never clear away all thoughts because our minds are capable of generating infinite amounts of thought. You can read more about how thoughts and emotions cause us pain and a few ways you can use awareness to clear your thoughts and emotions here.
  4. DROWNING OUT ALL THOUGHTS – As it became clear that clearing bad thoughts, while helpful, wasn’t a complete solution, the next goal in everyone’s mind became to shut down all thought because thoughts were the enemy. They caused pain, and distraction and prevented people from living in the present moment. The solution was to try to force the mind to shut up like an obstinate child by treating it as one. Again we used similar techniques to what we used for bad thoughts, except now instead of calling them affirmations, we called them mantras. Keep repeating the same set of words again and again until the brain stops thinking because it gets too exhausted. The problem was, other than a few people who might have accidentally stumbled upon something bigger, most people found this exhausting exercise would stop working the moment they stopped the chanting. Meditating even for hours didn’t seem to give them peace when they were out in their daily life. The problem with this approach is the same as before – you can’t drown out thoughts by screaming over them. Repression is never the answer.
  5. NON RESISTING AWARENESS OF THOUGHTS – This was the next answer. Not resisting or judging thoughts when they came and just becoming aware of them. Not getting upset if a thought comes or getting happy if thoughts stop. Just watching and being aware of what happens. This was the technique recommended by a lot of spiritual leaders and masters. Find peaceful surroundings and just watch your thoughts. Once you can do it in peaceful surroundings, start doing it in every waking moment, wherever you are. This method seemed to get results, though not reliably, consistently or universally. However it worked, and it worked for people who achieved great things, so it became the standard with minor variations everywhere.

However, in spite of all these methods, there was still something missing. None of these techniques worked all the time. None of them worked predictably. The fact that they worked means they were doing something right, but the fact that it wasn’t repeatable meant that no one was exactly sure what that something was. In fact, every technique here is capable of sometimes hitting that special magic, which is why there are successes using each technique and so many proponents of each method.

However there is a simpler meditation, that in my experience has phenomenally fast results. Not months and years, but rather hours and days. Once you see the results, you will just want to increase and expand the duration of peace you can hold. It will feel so effortless that it will almost seem like peace was your natural state and you will wonder why you ever thought it was a struggle.

THE SIMPLEST MEDITATION – NON RESISTANCE AWARENESS OF SILENCE – This isn’t some magical trick that I have discovered. There have been many masters who have described similar ideas for ages, however the actual idea gets lost in preconceived notions of what the technique should be, as a result of which very few people seem to have paid attention and realized how simple it actually is.

The essence of this technique is the same as the last method. Watching the mind with non judgmental awareness. However, instead of paying attention to the thoughts, become aware of the silence BETWEEN the thoughts. The one or two second breaks between sentences. The breaks between words. Sometimes the longer breaks when you aren’t thinking at all for a while. Become acutely aware of them. When thoughts start again, just wait for the next silence.

You are no longer watching for thoughts and waiting to jump on them. You are watching for moments of silence and jumping onto them. Each time the silence occurs, for however long  (a few seconds, several minutes, it doesn’t matter), just enjoy those moments of silence and appreciate them and be completely aware of them. Keep doing it more and more.

You will see more and more silence within a day of starting this awareness meditation. You will be amazed at how easy and effortless it feels. And once the little click in your mind happens, you will realize that this peaceful state is your natural state that always comes back on its own and thoughts are the temporary phenomenon.

And once that realization truly hits you, the thoughts go away. Even when thoughts do come, it will feel almost like you are aware of the silence behind the thoughts, and know that this silence is who you are – your true nature. This is an indescribable feeling, so all I can tell you is to try this for a few days and experience it for yourself.

I can promise you is that it will be worth the effort.


Everyone is Enlightened – Except You

Have you ever been emotionally affected by something that was said or done by someone – a friend, a family member, a random stranger? It could be anything – an innocuous remark, which in hindsight shouldn’t have bothered you at all, or an act that you felt was so thoughtless and hurtful that it drove you into rage or had you crying tears from pain.

When this happens, it is easy to just blame the person for causing the pain or the anger, but the fact is all emotions are generated inside our own minds. No matter what a person does, they cannot control what happens inside your mind. Every emotion is the result of anchors from events in our own past and the way we interpret events. Each of us reacts to the same input in different ways. If this weren’t the case, we would all enjoy the exact same movies, laugh at the exact same jokes, at the exact same time.But that isn’t the case.

We all have our own likes, dislikes, fears and desires.

We are all unique because of the events that shaped us. A person who associates cookies with the love and affection of their grandmother who used to bake them will have a different association to cookies than a person who remembers being yelled at and punished for wanting them. Both these people will react differently to the same offer for a cookie and both will attribute any emotional reaction to the person asking, not to themselves. The first person would feel loved while the second might feel mocked. Neither would realize that what they felt was their own reaction to the question and had nothing to do with the other person. They would say it was the question that was either sweet or mean depending on their perspective.

So assuming that you understand this in theory, that it is all your perspective, and you are the one who causes yourself pain, what does this mean for you? How can you use this to get rid of pain and live a happier and more peaceful life?

Well, here is a simple trick that might help – Assume that everyone in this world (except you) is enlightened.

Assume that no one is trying to hurt you or cause you pain or cause you anger or any other bad emotion. Assume also that each of them is just trying to help you find your triggers so that you can become aware of them and get rid of them. Assume that the only reason you feel pain or other strong emotions is because of your own emotional baggage and clutter. You might be holding onto something from your past or believing something that isn’t necessarily true. You might even be projecting your own motivations or thoughts onto them, and attributing it to them. For example, if you believe you yourself are selfish, you will also assume other people are acting selfishly even if they aren’t necessarily.

The easy guide is, anytime a strong emotion comes along – pay attention. There is something going on. A thought that might not need to be there. A belief that might be inaccurate. Something that if addressed will let you be in control instead of letting the emotions control you.

So from now, any time you feel a trigger of strong emotions because of something someone did or said, you can first become aware of the emotion and then mentally thank them for pointing out the trigger to you.

After that, during a quiet moment of introspection, try and understand what moments in your past or what beliefs and thoughts in your mind make you feel that way about the event. As you dig deeper, and become aware of the clutter in your head, you will find that you get affected by the event less and less. Keep digging until you no longer feel emotionally affected when replaying the event in your mind.

Once you have dug to the root of the emotion and are completely aware of it, you will feel like a load has been lifted off your chest. You won’t need to do anything else. You will find the trigger no longer has any power over you. In the future similar events will just wash over you and instead of a knee jerk emotional reaction, you will be able to just peacefully assess the moment and react calmly and intelligently.

As you continue this practice in your life, with each trigger cleared, you will become a lighter and happier person who no longer feels the need to blame the world. You will find that you stay calm and peaceful more and more, and the world will start feeling like a much more beautiful place.

Goals – The Struggle of Life

Why do we struggle with life instead of just enjoying it?

I don’t think we were born this way. At least I don’t think I was.

I don’t think babies do long term goals and planning. They just enjoy whatever is happening in the moment.

At what point does life become a struggle to get to an imaginary distant future instead of just experiencing whatever happens?

Why do we get so attached to outcomes that our happiness and sadness are dictated by whether we go closer to our own made up goals that don’t really matter?

We end up not being able to do the things that we really want out of fear that our actions might lead us away from our goals, second guessing everything that we do.

We end up living a stifled and unhappy existence, chasing one goal after another, hoping that one day we will be happy again.

How did we let this happen to ourselves? And why?