Tag Archives: Writing

Fighting Boredom

Right now, I feel a feeling that I think of as boredom. I don’t even know if I’m using the right word for the feeling because I can’t really show the feeling to someone and verify that I have the right name. 

So I have this feeling, which I think is called boredom, which I believe must be fought. And the reason I believe it must be fought is because that’s apparently what you do with boredom, fight it until you no longer have it. 

Now fighting boredom involves doing things that don’t bore you so you no longer feel bored. So in a way fighting is just a way of distracting yourself with amusing things. The dilemma I face with boredom however is that no matter how many times I valiantly fight it and win, it eventually comes back. 

This is why I sometimes wonder if someone ever took the time to find a more effective and permanent solution. Maybe, instead of fighting, we could just be friends? But if fighting is distracting yourself, what is making friends with boredom?

If you are friends with it, does boredom suddenly become fun? But why would boredom change because of friendship? Real friendship is about accepting friends as they are instead of expecting them to change. 

So now I’m stuck with a friend who is pure boredom, never leaves my side, and whom I can’t even fight with or do anything to distract myself from. Now what do I do?

Maybe this is why people prefer fighting and distracting themselves to making new friends. 

A world filled with idiots

I’ve expressed this before, the thought that I am in a world filled by monkeys with delusions of intellect, constantly pretending that they are spouting profound wisdom when all they are really doing is making barking noises in a previous article – Why do monkeys pretend to talk?

If you haven’t read it yet, I would recommend that you do so now, otherwise this article might seem somewhat confusing.

So continuing where we left off in that article, we live in a world of monkeys that bark and pretend that these barking noises are actually meaningful words. Now barking monkeys by themselves are mostly harmless, if somewhat noisy. 

The situation however is compounded by the fact that monkeys also like to pretend that they are acting intelligently, when in fact all they were designed to do was eat, procreate, and entertain themselves by swinging from trees and occasionally flinging feces at each other.

Thanks to their fascination with making up and using new words, these monkeys find words like achievement, purpose, duty and goals to justify a vast number of mind numbing and completely idiotic things that they seem to enjoy doing. Very often they just pretend to enjoy themselves so others will believe it, even while they themselves are completely bored with what they are doing. I know it seems like a very confused world when described this way. 

I would understand a monkey that just acted like a monkey. But a monkey that then spends twenty minutes afterwards justifying what it just did as a higher purpose or calling, or saying it was doing the right thing or a good thing, is an idiot. That’s the only word for it. 

I love the word idiot, because it describes and explains the behaviour of every single human monkey I have come across in my lifetime.  

Now don’t get me wrong. In no way am I claiming that the world is full of idiots and that I am somehow the only sane one. Not at all. What I am saying is that I appear to be the only person who is aware that he is an idiot monkey playing pretend in a world full of idiots playing pretend. Everyone else actually seems to believe the lies they have been telling themselves and seem to have forgotten that they are just monkeys, pretending to be more. 

Purpose, religion, goal, career, duty – All these meaningless words that people use to justify their silly actions, all used to help them in pretending that their pointless existence actually has a higher meaning and purpose; When all they were ever meant to do, was be a monkey, eat, amuse themselves, maybe have children, and then die. Nothing more. 

But for a lot of monkeys, this wasn’t enough. They found a better and higher meaning to their existence. 

Somehow one special sub-category of a breed of monkeys with opposable thumbs decided that they were specially selected, not to die, but instead go to a newer and better place called heaven. And since life on heaven is a better life than their current one, half the idiot monkeys just waste away their current life in waiting to go to heaven. As for the other half, I don’t even want to try to guess what they are doing, or how their mind justifies their idiotic actions. 

Do you still wonder why I find the word idiot appropriate to describe everyone in this world? Nothing anyone does ever makes sense, but  somehow they keep finding convoluted justifications to try and convince themselves that everything makes sense. Some even decide to use a special category  of meaningless words such as – “Don’t worry. It will all make sense in the end. If it doesn’t yet make sense, then it isn’t the end”. This category of soothing but totally meaningless words that seem to make a lot of sense, but are actually just complete nonsense are usually called profound sayings.

This is the world we are in. As I think about this, I am left wondering what I am even doing here, in this world filled with idiots. At this point, there is no lie that I can make up that sounds convincing enough. I am doing nothing of significance here. 

The truth is, I am just passing time, eating food, swinging from trees, throwing poop, and doing whatever I can to entertain myself, until I become too old to do so. And I’ve decided to call doing this “becoming path oriented instead of goal oriented so I can fulfill my highest purpose” because it sounds more profound when I say it this way.

Why do monkeys pretend to talk?

This is a thought that I’ve had for a while now. Most creatures have mouths and tongues so they can taste and eat food. Some creatures learn to use these mouths to make noises either to attract attention or warn others. 

As mammals evolved, the complexity of these vocalisations increased with them being able to create a large range of grunts, growls and other unique sounds. 

However of all these creatures, man was the only animal which decided that the random and meaningless sounds it made actually meant something significant. No dog was calling its barking poetry.  No cow was calling its mooing wisdom.

However man decreed that certain growls and grunts in certain specific patterns mean something special and profound. In fact the barking sounds represented by “profound” and “beautiful” are things that all human apes aspired towards. However, no one seemed to realise, that unlike growls like apple and orange, which they could atleast point to and identify in the real world, profound is a noise that no one could really point to or identify, making it even more meaningless of a sound. 

Take the time to look around at this world where everyone is just barking sounds at each other and pretending that they are conversing, and ask yourself, what do you really see now? Not just at each other, people make meaningless sounds at animals that can’t possibly make the same sounds back, and at plants that can’t respond in any way. And then, to top it off, they decide to tell themselves that what they are doing is a beautiful way of expressing love, another meaningless sound that they can’t point at or identify. 

As I stare at this nonsensical world around me, I am left with but one question – “What am I even doing on this silly planet where everyone is just barking at each other?”.  And as I ponder the question, another one comes to me – “Why am I acting as if my last question has any meaning at all, when all these words are just meaningless sounds made by monkeys who think they are talking?”

The trouble with falling asleep

After tons of introspection I have learned to recognise signs that I need sleep. Nothing too unusual. A little tiredness, a little restlessness, and an inability to focus on anything for too long. What this means to me is it’s time for me to take a little nap, unless of course it is the end of the day, in which case it is time for me to call it a day. 

Now comes the problem that I never seem to know how to solve. Knowing I want to sleep but not being able to.

I thought writing an article on insomnia would be so boring that I’d fall asleep while writing it. Sadly that does not seem to be the case. Instead I seemed to have a developed a morbid fascination with where this article is going. I can’t imagine it going anywhere significantly profound because I am too sleepy to write anything particularly riveting. Instead, all I’m really doing is watching a stream of words flow out and wondering where they are going. 

I don’t want them to go anywhere too fascinating because then I won’t be able to fall asleep. On the other hand, I don’t want the words to be too boring because then I’d be left wondering why I was even writing this article. Almost like how you must be wondering why you are still reading this nonsense.

Are you, like me, hoping that I’ll get to some point which will make all the effort that you have put into reading so far meaningful? Or are you now getting worried that nothing of this sort is going to happen and you might as well throw the phone away in disgust right now?

Anytime we reach crossroads like this, it’s a good idea to scroll down and see how much more torture we still need to endure. If it seems too much to bear, walking away does seem most sensible than continuing to read. I for one have decided not to torture myself by writing any more. If for some reason you decide to keep going, do let me know how it goes. Maybe it has a happy ending that makes everything worth it. The one thing that I did notice is that I don’t feel sleepy anymore. 

The Curse of Productivity

I’ve accidentally woken up at 6AM, and now I have no idea what to do. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there is anything wrong with waking up early. I also have no problem with people who like to wake up early just so that they can start their day productively. My problem is, I have no idea what being productive actually means and how it should look. 

I’m staring at an empty screen and wondering exactly what I should do. I’ve brushed and shaved and had my morning coffee. Oddly enough, that doesn’t take up as much time as you would expect. So now what?

Why do people like being productive anyway? Is there anything special about finishing a lot of pending tasks on your todo lists that makes this time of the day better than any other? And what about the people who were productive the previous night and have nothing left to do in the morning? Are they doomed to suffer their mornings in unproductivity purely because they dared to be productive at a time when no one else would?

Does productivity include the quest for things to do when feeling unproductive? The search for a higher meaning and purpose that only comes to people who are bored out of their minds? I am not quite sure, and can never quite tell. 

As a child I learned that looking busy was sufficient to earn praise from adults. In fact the word busy and productive both seem interconnected somehow. And somehow both words were more about how one looked than what one actually did at the time. 

So what if I decide that I no longer want to be productive and don’t want to fall into the trap of trying to comply with arbitrary rules that I find absurd? Well, then I have nothing to do. There is only so many times I can check my mail before I wish I had never woken up. 

After that I can decide to write a meaningless article about not being productive, which is where we now find ourselves. Ah well. Seems like a productive way to spend my morning. 

Prisoners of Profundity

The problem with writing even one article that sounds a little profound is that I suddenly get stuck. Every subsequent thought that I have now has a new barrier to surpass. But what that barrier is, I can’t ever really describe because I have no idea what it really is, namely the idea that my next thought needs to be even more profound. 

The meaning of the word profound as I discovered during a period of heightened insight, was using meaningless words so that sentences could be interpreted any way the listener wanted and attribute it to having many deep meanings, rather than the actual reason, which is that the sentence was so vague that it didn’t have a single precise meaning in itself. That’s how one sounds profound, by saying things that don’t really mean anything, and saying them very slowly. 

So why is being profound a goal? It seems like a silly goal. I might as well write something long and boring and then change every second word by replacing it with an empty or abstract word so my writing suddenly becomes profound. But is my goal to be profound or to convey meaning? 

And if it is meaning I want to convey, then why not let the title of the article be the essence of the meaning that I want to convey, and then use this meaning as the guiding principle to shape my thoughts as I place them into words. 

I can then let the final decision of whether my purpose has been achieved be based on how well my words convey the meaning I want to share and how well the readers feel the feelings I want to impart to them. 

My goal is to move the readers’ hearts, but not necessarily push them towards a specific direction. Let their own hearts take them where they need to go. But let them atleast feel something new that they never felt before, and know that my words somehow helped them have that experience. 

This is all I believe writing needs to be about. 

As soon as we reduce the goal of writing to just that – expressing what we feel, as best as we know how – suddenly all blocks disappear. Writing becomes as easy as typing while thinking, and thinking is just converting your feelings into words. So if you can feel, you can write. 

And sometimes while converting your feelings into words, without even trying, your words might actually end up sounding a little profound. Which is great if it happens on its own. Just don’t waste your time chasing it.