There are only three meditations that you need to find complete and permanent inner peace.
And I don’t mean a little bit of quiet or a little bit of peace. Once you reach the final step, everything will change forever.
You will feel that you have arrived. You will realize that you have finally found everything you have been searching for all your life. You will find yourself completely and totally at peace, all the time.
You won’t even need to do anything like these meditations once you reach this point. These are just meant to show your mind and heart a few different things that will help them understand what is needed to make that seemingly magical but completely effortless transition take place. And once they understand, they will do everything for you.
You don’t need to do anything but try these meditations so that you can just experience what I am describing. Once you feel and understand what I am saying completely, nothing else is needed. I promise.
So just go ahead and start these. Don’t worry about how soon it will work. Don’t wonder whether it is working. Just try them and see what happens.
The three meditations are:
1. Watching Your Thoughts
The first meditation is to watch both your thoughts and feelings and observe them.
You can do this alone in the comfort of your own home. You can even journal your observations to study them or understand them better.
Once you build confidence in your ability to do so, go out in the world and keep watching how these thoughts and feelings seem to work.
You will find two kinds of thoughts in your head.
i) Your Feelings As Words
The first kind are just a simple (and sometimes limited) translation of your feelings.
For example: “Oh I think she is cute. I just want to hug her.” (or him)
ii) Judgements On Your Actions Or Feelings
The second kind of thought is one which sometimes judges and says that what you are feeling is wrong, or what you want to do is wrong, or what you just thought was wrong.
For example: “I can’t tell her she is cute. She might think it is weird. Or she might not want me to hug her. Maybe if I say something else she will want to hug me. Maybe if I pretend not to…..”
In time, as you keep observing, you will notice that EVERY time the second thought creeps in, you usually end up feeling disconnected, lost, regretful or unhappy – some form of pain.
And every time you follow your feelings and the first kind of thought and ignore the silly “THIS IS WRONG” thoughts, you feel lighter, happier and better.
Even the times when the girl doesn’t want to hug you back, you will feel so much happier that you let her know and that you tried, than when you express a diluted version of your emotion or say something different from what you actually felt…
And want to know a little secret?
Each time you feel the desire to hug them, they sense it. They might not even realize that they do, but somewhere deep inside a part of them knows.
And each time you say something else or do something else instead of what they sensed you wanted to say or do, it breaks their heart.
It breaks their heart and hurts them, because they feel the connection between the two of you break – they feel lost because they don’t feel connected with you any more, even though they might not realize that this is what actually happened.
And every time you actually do or say exactly what you felt and that they had sensed, they feel more connected to you than ever before.
Because suddenly they feel like they know and understand you better than anyone else. Because suddenly, what they feel and what they see and what they hear is perfectly in alignment with each other whenever they are with or around you.
And then, whether they hug you or not, I promise you they will always be grateful for that sense of connection you created with them.
And each time you connect with a human this way, I can promise you that you will come alive, and so will they.
And that is what this meditation is really meant to show you.
2. Clearing Your Mind
The second meditation is where you spend time alone focusing on a single, simple, repetitive task and observe the nagging thought/voice commenting in the background. As you watch it, without judging it (because you would need to use that same annoying thought/voice if you were to judge), you will find the voice quiet down.
Even if you don’t find it quieting down, don’t feel unhappy or the need to judge and say “Why can’t I do this. What is wrong?” , because you would need to use the same annoying voice to even say that. Just be OK and watch what is happening as best you can.
If you do notice your thoughts going in a judgmental direction, even that is OK. Don’t judge them. Even at this level (or the next, or the one after that), finally just be OK with what is happening. At some point, just say “Fine. Whatever! It’s OK. Let me just watch and see what is going on in this crazy head of mine”.
And as soon as you start accepting it, while you may still have thoughts, the second kind of thoughts will gently start quieting down.
And then you will find the judging thoughts disappear completely for brief periods of time. In time these periods may become longer.
And in time, you will be able to do this not just while sitting alone, but in every walk of your life, just like the first meditation.
Each time you feel this quiet, you will find a sense of incredible peace and joy that you may have never felt before. You will get a taste of what perfect inner peace all the time will feel like once that annoying voice finally goes away completely.
And that is what is this meditation is really meant to show you.
3. Connection And Caring For Another
The third meditation is where for brief periods of time, you care more about another human being than your own self. You care only about their happiness, and their joy, and their well being, and their pain, and nothing but them. All you want is for them to feel better.
The three simplest examples of this that I can give you are –
i) A Hug
Each time you hug a person, you can only care about one thing – that at the end of the hug they feel better than before.
Ignore the nagging voice if necessary.
For those few seconds, focus on only one thing – the person and whether they are feeling better.
The perfect meditation would be when at the end of a hug the person looks content and peaceful and feels connected to you, grateful because you understood them and happy that you cared so much about them.
Don’t worry if you don’t get it right. Don’t judge. Just keep trying. Be OK with whatever does happen.
ii) A Conversation
If you can care about someone entirely for a whole hug, then start trying to care entirely about them for entire conversations.
During the conversation, you no longer care about proving a point, being right, whether you look or sound right or whatever else the nagging voice says.
Just trust your feelings, and directly express them into words as honestly and accurately as you can. Don’t worry about saying the wrong thing. You won’t. Whatever you say will be exactly what you need to say. Whatever happens as a result is exactly what needs to happen.
All you care about is what they are feeling and how you can help them feel better. Same outcome as before – helping them feel more connected to you and more at peace with themselves.
Try your best to quiet your inner judgmental voice, but even if you aren’t able to, just do your best and be OK with not being able to do more, and be content with whatever you just achieved.
There is no immediate goal here. Just keep trying. Each time you try, your heart will better understand what it means to care for someone else and how to get better at it. You aren’t teaching your brain, you are teaching your heart.
iii) A Partner Dance Or Any Physical Connection
This isn’t an easy one to explain. But once you can connect with people emotionally, and pay more attention to them than you do to yourself, you can try to connect to them both physically and emotionally.
A perfect dance connection lets you know what your dance partner wants to do as much as it lets them know what you want to do. So at times you are dancing not what you want but what the other person wants, but without ever realizing which one of you really wanted to do the step.
People watching from outside should never be able to tell who is leading and who is following, and in fact, after a point, neither should you.
For those few minutes, the two of you should become a single entity that think and feel as one, and nobody should be able to tell who’s thoughts they are seeing expressed in the dance. The only thing you should care about is the other person’s happiness, and if the connection is perfect, the only thing they will care about is yours.
Through practicing this, you will learn to connect with others in a way that you have craved all your life, even though you never really realized that this was what you had been craving.
Everything you have ever done in life has been in search for a complete and pure connection with someone. Once you get a taste of even short periods of total connection, you will know in your heart and soul that this is what you were truly searching for.
And that is what is this meditation is really meant to show you.
The Final Step
Once you have truly understood these three, then you will be ready for the final step.
Combining all of these experiences into a single permanent feeling that comes from within and lasts forever.
And at this point, it should just happen automatically.
You know that the inner voice hurts you, you know that with it gone you are able to hear other people’s thoughts better and connect with them better, and you know that all you have ever wanted all your life is that perfect connection with someone.
At this point, there is only one thing that needs to happen to grant you everything that you have ever wanted all your life, and in your heart and mind, you have understood it. Your heart and mind finally understand what you truly want and what they need to do to help you get it. And most importantly, nothing has to come from outside, it just has to be and adjustment that they need to make for you while you just trust them and wait patiently.
I promise you, that once you reach this point, you will forever be changed.
So just get going. Start this journey. I promise you it is worth it.
What I have described is all you need. However if you have questions or trouble in applying these steps, please ask. I’ll try my best to add more explanation to make this transition easier for you. I promise you that this works, and that it is easy and effortless.
If it doesn’t feel effortless, you are doing something wrong. It might seem slightly boring or annoying at times, but it isn’t difficult or painful. It should feel simple and easy.
Start slow, take baby steps, and try your best never to be hard on yourself. Be patient and kind to yourself just as you would be to a child trying to learn to walk. It’s OK to make mistakes.
It’s OK to take time. As long as you are on this path, you will get there eventually. And everyone else who has ever taken this path will instinctively be drawn to you to help you if you need help.
Know in your heart, that everything is going to be OK and that you are meant to get there, however long it takes. So just relax and enjoy the journey.
PS: I use a girl in my examples to illustrate the point. But connecting with every human being is the same principle. Please don’t let my inadequate mastery over the language prevent you from understanding what I intended to say.